Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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