when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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