Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
