best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
