Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
