So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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