That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
