Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
