3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize