Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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