i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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