You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize