Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
