I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
