hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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