This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
