Is it because I queefed?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
