Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
