Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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