worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
