so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
