If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
