im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
