fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
