Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
