yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
