I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So much Jack, so little girl.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
