NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am available for nakedness
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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