just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
