do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
