Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
