Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
