pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
