just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
