Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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