Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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