The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
