You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
