Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
