look no pants
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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