I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
