He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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