I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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