Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
