i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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