Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
