We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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