I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
