ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it because I queefed?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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