I could have mohawked her pubes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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