I just made out with a guy for $7.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize