...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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