I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize