This gyro tastes like lonliness
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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