I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
