Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
