Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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