so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
