I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
