My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
