Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
