considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
