take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
