Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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