thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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