Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize