I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
we should paint friendship bongs
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
