omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
